Monday, September 13, 2004
spinning to muse-hate this and i'll love you
words are fraught with countless meanings. my mind is deprive of wonderful-happy thoughts. i need them, some at least. i do realise i spend more time on my computer than anything else in the world. well obviously, realisation hits others before me. took ages for it to struck. i have no idea why im posting but i just feel like i have alot of things on my mind. it just FEEEEELS like it. u know. FEEEEL. eurgh; i hate feelings. i hate having them. right now especially.
i want to be carrie bradshaw. the coolest newspaper journalist. she writes wholeheartedly with great mind-boggling phrases. it, just, blows, me, so so so far away. (but afterall, shes fictional. but who cares.)
seriously. i want a job where i can write for as long as i can. i dont understand how people can despise writing. i think writing is wonderful. even if it takes a whole lot of bullshitting to write something. even if more than half of what you write does not make sense, as long as it makes sense to you, i would call it a worthy writing. it does not have to spick-span-ly kind of perfection; who would fcuking cares anyway. writing whatever is fun. ive just proven how fun it is to write and not make any sense. its funtabulously fun.
oh-my-god. the fact that i was not in school today did not bother me. one bit at all. is this the time to press the red emergency button on my head.
straying away again. i dont want feelings. in fact, i want to be emotionless. so i can do whatever i want without any obligations. that would be bad but i want it. so badly. i hate to feel what i dont want to feel and ends up feeling something that feels like shit. it can make you feel at peak and then at your lowest. it makes people do stupid things. feelings are super bloody annoying. love is sickeningly a pain. i dont even know wtf it is. you can quote me.
bleaurgh. bye.
1001 bullshits.